Everyone needs a person

One of my favorite shows is Grey’s Anatomy. And one of my favorite relationships on the show isn’t Callie and Hahn-no, it’s seriously not. My favorite relationship on the show is Grey and Yang. Why? Those two have the most enduring relationship of anyone on the show.  And they don’t even sleep together.

They share their secrets, their fears, their problems, their triumphs and happy times. They are each other’s person.

What does it mean-this notion of being someone’s person?

It means that everyone needs someone that they trust completely.  Everyone needs someone that they can tell anything to, that they can be totally completely their most authentic self. Everyone needs someone who they know will love and respect and not judge them no matter what.

It is so hard to find someone like that. We wear so many masks every day that preclude us from finding our person. We share pieces of ourselves with others but we rarely trust, even our friends, enough to completely let our hair down enough and let all our foolishness hang all out.

I had a conversation with a friend about the guy with which she is having an affair. I asked her why she continues to do it, even when she knows that it is a completely bad decision. Her answer was that she couldn’t stop herself because he was her person. He was the one person who knew her completely.  He was the one person that she connected with on all levels.

I was so happy for her, that she found this person and has them in her life. (Even though she was in tears because she wants to break it off).  And I must admit that I was more than a little bit jealous.  Not because of her specific relationship, but because of the deepness of the connection between them.

My relationship with the gf is still new and since our relationship is mostly conducted via telephone we haven’t had much of a chance to forge that connection.  And still I swear we share a brain. Countless times we damn near say the same thing to each other at the same time. We crave the same food at the same time. I’ll text message her and get one from her at the same time. Last week we had a conversation where we realize that most days of the week, we share a brain. And I told her – I wish I had my own brain, but since I have to share one, I’m glad to share one with her.  She laughed and dared me to write about it in a blog. To which I replied…. Already writing it down.

I know that these are fairly superficial examples, but they still make me smile. I’ve never been as open and honest and authentic (with myself or anyone else) as I am with her.  And I’m constantly pushing myself to shed my masks and stop filtering my words and let all my foolishness hang out. And I remind myself to trust her to love and respect and not judge me.  Ultimately, I know that it is up to me to let her in. And I want to let her in.

Why? Because I think she could be my person. And I don’t want to miss out on that.

 

2 new things I love today and 1 thing that still scares me

I used this past weekend in a way that I will likely be unable to continue once the semester gets heavily underway.  All weekend, I basically did two things:

I drank a lot and watched HOURS of tv. ( I also organized my calendar for the year and watched a concert, but those are minor details)

How does Monica watch TV without having her cable install yet???? (damn cable installation hours!!!!!!)

Well boys and girls, I ordered Netflix. Maybe, I’m late to this game, maybe my friends are all losers and don’t know (except L who is smarter than all of us) , or maybe we just spend so much time AT the movies that we don’t really need to watch them at home, but at any rate Netflix is all new to me.

So last week I got one of those Netflix fliers in the mail for a trial subscription. I went to their website, loved everything (it’s cheap, and I get as many movies as I can watch). I immediately signed up and will have my fave 50 movies coming to the crib in no time.

The best part about NetFlix? I can watch stuff online.

Which is what I did ALL weekend (in between drunken party fests) Me on my couch, with my computer on my lap watching my new second favorite thing.

WEEDS!!!! I love this show. I watched 2 seasons of this show over a 48 period. I am insane. And I can’t wait for Season 3 to come in the mail. I’m going to try to make it last a little longer this time, though.

And the one thing that still scares me? Scary f*cking movies. The first Netflix movie (Zodiac) came in the mail on Friday and I knew that I couldn’t watch in alone. I planned initially to save it for the next time I was in the A so that I was sure to have someone to protect me in bed. But I’m stupid so I decided to watch it with my mom on Sunday.

We didn’t start the movie until after 6 and between potty breaks and phone breaks, we didn’t finish the movie until after 9:30. And guess what? By then, it was dark and I had to drive home in the dark, go home to an empty apartment and sleep by myself. And guess what else, I was scared to death! So scared, in fact, that I slept with the kitchen and bathroom lights on, so that I could see if a serial killer was lurking in the shadows.  And I dreamed all night about folks trying to kill me.  Definitely not a good night’s sleep.

 

I heart the Olympics

This week I’ve been practicing being a housewife. And believe me, I could seriously get used to this. My days consist of waking up just enough to wish the gf a good and productive day before she goes to work. Then I roll over and go back to sleep. Around 7:30 I move from the bed to the couch where I take a nap until 9:30 or 10. Once I’m awake, I find something to eat and try to find an internet signal in the house (not having much luck). I’ve also been packing my clothes, books and other assorted stuff since I’m going home at the end of the week. Fortunately, I didn’t bring as much stuff with me as I thought I did so it hasn’t been very hard to pack.

The only problem with being a housewife that I can foresee is not having any money. It sucks that I’m unemployed right now and I don’t have any funds. It means that I have all this free time, and nothing to do. Yesterday, I cooked salmon, pork chops and pasta. Not because we needed it, but because I was bored and I cook when I’m bored.

Being poor and unemployed this week leaves me lots of time to watch the Olympics. And let me tell you, I am obsessed!

I don’t think I’ve ever watched the Olympics. I don’t remember Athens at all, and the only thing I remember about the 1996 games is that they were held in Atlanta. I may have seen bits and pieces of the games, but nothing on the scale that I’ve watched and been involved for the past few days.

I think I have watched every beach volleyball match that Misty May and Kerrie Walsh AND Rogers and Dalhouser have played, I’ve watched synchro diving (men and women) , I’ve screamed and cringed with every fall, slip, and stick of men’s and ladies’ gymnastics. I’ve watched every stroke of swimming that Phelps, Lochte, Hoff, Couglin, Peirsol and crew have swam. I’ve watched rowing and water polo and basketball. I’ve watched the opening ceremony over and over and I am so crunk about everything! The Olympics’ are so cool.

I love watching these athletes do their thing. The human body amazes me. Not only that, but the control, discipline, and extremely hard work that I know it takes to get to their level of perfection leaves me in awe. These people are my heroes. They make me want to learn how to swim and start running again and just plain ol’ get into shape. I want some muscles to show off

Oh, and does it make me unpatriotic if I want the Chinese to win? I mean, I love May and Walsh, and I love Raj and Jonathan and Justin (my fave American male gymnasts) and I cry for Alisa and Nastia and Shaun (my girls) whenever they fall, I love the American swimmers and I’m really excited every time they win. But for everything else, I’m rooting for the Chinese! They seem so prepared and so posed for success. Say what you want about Communism, but those Chinese athletes seem to truly believe in their country. They are not winning just for themselves. They are winning for all 1.3 billon Chinese. And for me, it is so cool to see the underdog win, even if it means that the Americans lose.

The worst thing about watching the Olympics on TV is the announcers. They suck. These are the most pessimistic people. No matter how well someone performs, it doesn’t matter if they have broken world records, beaten their personal best times, it doesn’t matter. These announcers are going to find the nit-picky mistakes (and jinx the athletes!!!!) that even the judges are not going to deduct. And they ask the dumbest questions. “Hey Phelps, what were you thinking when you were in the pool winning your millionth gold medal?” I just want him to say, well, stupid announcer lady, I was thinking about how I shouldn’t f*ck this up because then I could kiss my endorsements goodbye.” I mean, seriously, we know what the hell he’s thinking about. Winning, bitch, that’s what he’s thinking about!

Olympic commercials have been entertaining as well. Visa and Coke have pulled out all the stops. GO WORLD!!

Good commercials are the best for ADD folks like me. I love NOTHING more than really compelling, emotional commercials. These are better than Superbowl commercials. They are thinking man commericials, not stupid funny. My favorites are the GE ecomagination and the colorful and musical United commercials and the LeBron James-Yao Ming coke commercial. Oh, and the Audi commercial, so unexpected!

And other times, I watch commercials and cock my head to the side, squint my eyes and wonder what the hell they were trying to say. I finally saw the famed McCain commercial that was supposed to be so offensive to Obama. The McCain campaign finally cut the parts with Brittany and Paris (smart boy) but still I was left thinking that the commercial makes Obama look good. McCain’s objections to Obama are not presented in a coherent and logical argument, and it made McCain look like someone’s senile grandpa and solidified Obama’s rockstar status.

On a completely different note, I helped my sister move into her dorm room yesterday. It made me so sad. Her school didn’t put its best foot forward. They had construction going on (and that is NOT what you want freshmen to see), the cable wasn’t working, the Welcome committees weren’t very welcoming (or very informative or helpful, for that matter), and my poor baby sister was not happy. She was really disappointed that such a prestigious school could botch things so badly. And I have to agree with her, I was so not impressed. By the end of the night she’d already had one crying spell and threatened to transfer, so hopefully the school will get itself together so that she can start enjoying her college experience.