I watched In Her Shoes on Sunday, and I, cold hearted snake that I am, was congratulating myself for staying emotionally unattached. I mean, it is a movie and all. What’s there to get worked up about?

Then Cameron Diaz’s character reads her sister this poem at the end…. and I damn near burst into tears. This is a great poem.

Enjoy

-M-

i carry your heart with me
by e. e. cummings

i carry your heart with me

(i carry it in my heart)

i am never without it

(anywhere i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)

i fear no fate

(for you are my fate, my sweet)

i want no world

(for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart

(i carry it in my heart)

I used this past weekend in a way that I will likely be unable to continue once the semester gets heavily underway.  All weekend, I basically did two things:

I drank a lot and watched HOURS of tv. ( I also organized my calendar for the year and watched a concert, but those are minor details)

How does Monica watch TV without having her cable install yet???? (damn cable installation hours!!!!!!)

Well boys and girls, I ordered Netflix. Maybe, I’m late to this game, maybe my friends are all losers and don’t know (except L who is smarter than all of us) , or maybe we just spend so much time AT the movies that we don’t really need to watch them at home, but at any rate Netflix is all new to me.

So last week I got one of those Netflix fliers in the mail for a trial subscription. I went to their website, loved everything (it’s cheap, and I get as many movies as I can watch). I immediately signed up and will have my fave 50 movies coming to the crib in no time.

The best part about NetFlix? I can watch stuff online.

Which is what I did ALL weekend (in between drunken party fests) Me on my couch, with my computer on my lap watching my new second favorite thing.

WEEDS!!!! I love this show. I watched 2 seasons of this show over a 48 period. I am insane. And I can’t wait for Season 3 to come in the mail. I’m going to try to make it last a little longer this time, though.

And the one thing that still scares me? Scary f*cking movies. The first Netflix movie (Zodiac) came in the mail on Friday and I knew that I couldn’t watch in alone. I planned initially to save it for the next time I was in the A so that I was sure to have someone to protect me in bed. But I’m stupid so I decided to watch it with my mom on Sunday.

We didn’t start the movie until after 6 and between potty breaks and phone breaks, we didn’t finish the movie until after 9:30. And guess what? By then, it was dark and I had to drive home in the dark, go home to an empty apartment and sleep by myself. And guess what else, I was scared to death! So scared, in fact, that I slept with the kitchen and bathroom lights on, so that I could see if a serial killer was lurking in the shadows.  And I dreamed all night about folks trying to kill me.  Definitely not a good night’s sleep.

I try to only read reviews of movies after I see them. So it was only today that I allowed myself to read the NYT review of the movie, Wanted, that I and the gf watched Friday, which was, btw, opening night. I’ve been waiting on this movie for months and couldn’t wait another day to see it!!!!!!

I loved the movie and could talk about it and my favorite scenes forever. Apparently, lots of people disagree with me and expect to see the meaning of life when they go to the movies. They get upset when the movie delivers gun fights, knife fights, people getting hit with computer keyboards, my wife; Angelina Jolie, slow-motion bullets, big-ass guns, car chases, and Morgan Freedman as god. But I say, hello!!! What else could one want in a movie?

Needless to say, I kind of liked it, lol. But for those people, who need their movies to be meaningful, there was something in this movie for them as well.

This movie was all about a cube-dwelling corporate hack, Wesley, played by James McAvoy, whose life COM-PLETELY sucked and how he gained control of himself and his life to become a kick-ass assassin. (Don’t hate, I wanted to be a hit woman when I was a kid).

I mean this kid was a self-proclaimed loser with a cheating girlfriend, a horrible best friend, zero money, no charisma, and a boss who thought it was ok to snap a stapler at his ear and harass the crap out of him daily.

So anyway, amid the gunfights, knife fights, car chases and other adrenaline junkie stuff, Wesley transformed himself from an anxiety-ridden unfulfilled nobody into bullet-curving super-awesome cool guy. It was a pretty amazing transformation.

He worked hard; he focused, he got his ass kicked daily by the people who were trying to teach him. He learned how to shoot, how to kill people with knives, he learned how not to feel pain, he even learned to how to control his anxiety.

The audience was soooo behind him. It was amazing to me how many people, myself included, really related to the meaninglessness of this guy’s life. Obviously, there are lots of cube jockeys working unfulfilled jobs in ATL because everyone was rooting for this guy! Gf and I noted that there would probably be a lot of people quitting their jobs, learning how to shoot and terrorizing the city following the movie.

I should have been taking notes. This movie was a blueprint for how to reach a goal. So what that Wesley’s goal was to be the best assassin he could so that he could get revenge for his father. He focused on his target, and he succeeded. And in the process he took control of his life, and left behind loser-dom.

So what did Wesley do?

He dedicated all his energy of being the best

He focused on tasks that were related to his goal

He studied the work of others and learned from the best

He listened to his mentors

He did the penny-ante work that was thrown at him even when he didn’t understand why he needed to do it and/or when all he really wanted to do was kill his father’s killer

Bottom line, check out the movie!