Day without a Gay and other random gay news

I heard that Wednesday is Day without a Gay Day, where gay people are supposed to call out of work to show the straight people what it would be like without gay people. Unfortunately (or whatever) I am an hourly employee, and I do not have the option of righteous indignation. A day without work, for me, equals a day without pay. And it’s the holiday season so I gotta buy gifts and my bills still come whether gay people have equal rights or not. So instead of calling out of work, I’m writing a blog about gay stuff. That’s just my contribution.

In addition to telling everyone I know about Day without a Gay day, I decided to also tell some gay stuff about myself.  Wanna hear it? Here it go.

1. I’m not one of those man-hating dykes.  I actually really love men. Some of my favorite people are men.  I find them attractive and wonderful.  Some of them even smell good. Some are even super awesome kissers. And in my book, being a good kisser and smelling good are good ways to end up with a Monica attached.  Unfortunately (or whatever) the thought of actually having sex with a man makes me throw up a little in my mouth. No, not really. In all honesty, it makes me feel like this: ____________________________________________________________________________________

And that is not the way I’m supposed to feel about having sex.

2. I think there is a gayness scale. And EVERYONE, even ugly ass Laura Bush falls somewhere on the gay scale.  As one of my lesbian friends tells it, everyone has a little homo inside. She actually said something dirtier, but I’m not printing it in this blog, lol.

On my gay scale, 1 equals not so gay and 10 equals super duper gay. I think I fall around a 7-8 on most days.  This makes me pretty freaking gay, as the gf often tells me.  The gf also says many gay people who have been gay for a long time aren’t as gay as I am.  I take that as a compliment.

3. My mother told me today that one of my cousins said I had gay tendencies. Hilarity (and slight confusion). What’s even funnier is that this is a cousin that I see, tops, 3 times a year, and one of the last times I saw her, I was engaged. To a man.

So my mom was telling my cousin about my ‘friend’ and it slipped that this was no ordinary girlfriend. To which my cousin replied, I’m not surprised, Monica does seem to have gay tendencies.”

What the f*ck does that mean? I mean, gay people don’t always think I’m gay. In gay clubs, I’m the chick that looks like the straight chick that’s just there to support her gay friends. And none of the lesbians talk to me. Which is tragic, because I like to be hit on.

But really,  I shouldn’t be surprised. When I came out to my friends, for the most part, they all said some form of, Well duh, nitwit, we were just waiting for you to figure it out.

Argh! I wish my asshole friends had let me in on the secret, or set me up with a pretty girl or SOMETHING! Damn them.

4. I’m pretty out to my friends; they know me better that I know myself anyway.  I came out to a select few of my classmates, although I think most of them had figured it out, ’cause you can’t refer to a person as a) A significant other or 2) They, them or other non-gendered pronouns without the Master’s kids figuring out that something is up. But when we were thinking of renting a 6 bedroom house together I figured I should tell them that I’m sleeping with a woman before we signed the lease paperwork (I wanted to give them one last out before they’d be stuck with me).

I’m not out to my co-workers, not because I think they’d stone me, but because I’m really confused about how the whole, “Hi everyone, I’m gay” conversation actually comes up.  I mean, if the gf is ever in town when I have a work thing, I would definitely bring her and introduce her as my girlfriend, just like I did over the summer on my internship. (I still don’t think most of my summer co-workers got it, even though L tried to make it as obvious as possible.)

5.  I don’t really think gay people should get married.  But not because they are gay.  I don’t think anyone should get married. I think getting married is stupid.  What’s the point really, when you can get divorced for $300?  However, I do think that EVERYONE should have the right to do the same thing, so if straight people can get married (and divorced) at the drop of a dime, why the hell can’t everyone else?  Especially since I fully believe that 2/3 of the straight people could happily be in homosexual relationships.

6. Love, Actually is my FAVORITE holiday movie, and I think someone should buy it for me.  I’m adding it to my Amazon wish list. Look up my Amazon wish list using my email, which is here.

Happy Hump Day!!!!!!!  Hug a Gay person

 

Friday FAQ

In MPA school we spend a lot of time talking about public policy and how policy affect public administrators and since my class is a pretty liberal crew we discuss our opinions with each other ad nausem. In this most historic American week of my lifetime, Barack Obama was elected to be our 44^th president (Yay) California banned gay marriage (boo), and in the most boring Public Administration conference ever I learned that America is indeed in a recession and it will probably get worse before it gets better (Argh!!!).

So, today, I will answer 2 questions that I have been asked over and over and over… and one question that I asked on Twitter that no one took the bait on.

1. What do you think about the Obama Victory?

I am super excited that Barack Obama was elected President. Why, you asked?

Because this was the first presidential election that my baby sister has ever voted in (she’s 18), and I wanted her to have a positive experience.

Because lots and lots of people who have never voted before took part in our political system (and the system f-ing worked!!!!)

And not only did he win, he BLUEd up some states. North Carolina, Indiana, Florida, some other midwestern states that I can’t think of!!!! I am so proud of my country right now. America rocks!

Obama (whether you like him or not) inspires people. He has restore hope and optimism to a bunch of cynical, hard-hearted, apolitical Americans and  I hope to see more good people entering politics because of him.

He has restored the WORLD’S faith in America. His election proves that Americans aren’t as stupid as I (and every other country on the planet) thought they were in 2004.

He and Michelle are just so f-ing cool! I really just want to be their friend and chil-lax in the White House having conversations, babysitting the girls and hanging out with the family.

This is the first presidential election that I have ever voted in where the guy that I voted for won.

This is the first election that I think people 18-35 had a candidate that they could truly relate to and believe in. Gens X, Y and millennials actually made a difference. Several of my best friends has been working TIRELESSLY for the Obama campaign and I KNOW that their efforts made the difference.

The election of Obama signifies the end of an era and I am so glad to see it go.

(****notice that none of my reasons have to do with him being a Black man****)

And a follow up: This historical election is one of those things where people ask, “Where were you when Obama got elected?” Here is my answer: When CNN and NBC called the election for Obama, I was at home sharing the experience with the gf (over the telephone). In one moment the news anchors were talking, and then all we heard was screaming.  I was indisposed at the moment (in a unspecified location in my house, ahem) and couldn’t get up to see what the screaming was about. Luckily the gf was able to tell me that Obama had won. I couldn’t believe it. I’m still a little in shock.

2.  What do you think about the passage of California’s Prop 8 that bans gay marriage?

I am so disappointed at California. California has always been a beacon of life to a little lost black girl like me. It also seemed like the one place where all the people who were a little different, a little alternative, and little (or a lot) less normal could go and be accepted and thrive.  I have to rethink California now. And it makes me a little sad.

And I sit and think, how can the country, on the one hand, elect Barack in a landslide and then other the other, (in arguably most liberal state in the country) vote to ban gay marriage. I’m so confused and sad.

I mean, everything happened on the same ballot, so logically it follows that a lot of the people who voted for Obama voted for the ban. Right? What the f*ck is up with that?

Let’s assume for a moment.

Lots of Black people can out to vote for Obama. Could it be that historically oppressed Blacks voted to oppress another segment of society? Have they forgotten that equal and separate is NEVER really equal?  Have they forgotten that it took a coalition of Blacks and whites to affect change for Black people?

Homosexuals need our straight brothers and sisters to stand up for and with us if we are going to emerge from this constant battle of 3 steps forward, 2 steps f-ing back. *Sigh. This just reminds me of why I hate incrementalism.

Of course, I don’t know who actually voted for Prop 8, but lots of people seem to think it was people of color .

3.  Does the bust always follow the boom?

Economically speaking, it sure as hell seems that way. Every time someone explains economic policy, in terms of the current crises and the recession, I see a pattern Boom.Bust.Boom.Bust.Boom.Bust. The little squiggly lines on economic graphs show cycles of good and plenty, followed by deep dark recessions. In my life, I saw the dot com boom and bust and now the housing boom and bust.

For once I’d like things to be on a little flatter line. I think that a flat line would indicate folks having enough money (and nice nest egg savings) without the rampant consumerism that seems to drive the high boom.

Essentially, what goes up must come down.  So, if we never have those super high times, then we don’t have the far to fall.  Hence, no bust.  (this is all in my completely unprofessional non-economic opinion, of course.)

Happy Friday, party people. Be E-Z